New Year’s Blog

I have a lot of hope for the new year, although I think fresh starts can begin any time,I feel very confident about the future for the first time in a long time.  I am in a place where I am excited about transforming my future according to God’s plan and rising in the place that I am willing to create.  It started with learning from history and connecting to the people I love and just going with that. History is a phenomenal teacher and it can be used as the keys to our success if we give ourselves sufficient space to grow. Maya Angelou says “Each of us has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent him/ herself, she will be invented. So, to be bodacious enough to invent ourselves is wise.” It is indeed  wise to rise up and be counted for in your life.
Through this season of growth so many doors have opened and it has been so amazing. I attribute it to learning my spiritual identity and continuing to evolve with purpose while continuing to be self aware.  My question that I pose to myself is am  I gonna wait for one day or make today day one? It is truly up to us to decide  this and I’ve learned that all things are working towards our good.
It  truly has been a season of unexpected change and I’m blessed also in this season to have met  someone  that I care for very deeply. It has been a privilege getting to know a special someone who continues to open my heart like a compass directly to her heart. Someone who chooses you unconditionally is truly someone to treasure. To actively hold space for each other is something huge and I am truly overjoyed.
I remember our first date, we went to a holiday concert together and I didn’t know that there would be so much power in just one look. The conversation in the car on the way felt so familiar, just  like I was talking to an old friend. The laughs were genuine and the time that we were taking to get to know each other was precious. She is someone that I knew before  because she is an amazing spoken word artist and we run in  familiar artist circles. I was blessed to reconnect with her this time in a romantic sense. Her warmth was the blessing that I never knew I needed but I am glad that I am getting to experience. That night we decided to leave the concert early and immerse ourselves in such deep intimate insightful conversation. It was beyond small talk, It felt like our souls were elevating to a higher place. Her vibration is very unique and she has a  brilliant, beautiful way of looking at the world  that torches the gremlins of bitterness  in me and the ugliness of being jaded.
         I admit I had this feeling of hopelessness before because I allowed myself to believe that I wasn’t worthy of this genuine care or affection. I used to have such low self-esteem and I accepted the bare minimum in situations because of me not learning what could truly be for me. See we truly do accept the love that we think that we deserve and I originally thought I would be ok with table scraps or maybe that’s what I was also offering to other suitors because I did not value our time or worth? See we all often wear masks of perfection to get chosen when all we should be is ourselves and have the willingness to realize how dope we are. Nevertheless here I am and  I am still famished and she has been feeding me a grand feast . It’s her frankness and her willingness to truly partner with me in these special moments that provide solidarity and solitude.
            Nothing compares to these genuine moments and I crave this with all my being. It’s  these real moments that don’t need an audience and we set the pace while valuing each other and nourishing each other’s spirits. I am humbled by this and it has been teaching me to positively expect the unexpected.
   I am not as broken as I once thought and I am ever changing and evolving personally. It’s amazing to have someone like her around and I intend on seeing where this goes wholeheartedly. To check in without agendas to be intentional and willing to just see someone. To provide comfort and be friends before anything, providing peace and comfort while growing together.